The Truth About Grief: Moving Through the Pain
Is the duration of your mourning indicative of the depth of love you had for the person who passed away?
Podcast Moving Forward from Grief
Grief is a universal experience that we will all encounter at some point in our lives. However, there are many misconceptions surrounding grief, such as the length of time it should last and the “right” way to grieve. In this episode of the “Mentally Stronger” podcast, Amy Morin, LCSW, shares insights into grief and provides strategies for navigating the process.
My Personal Experience with Grief
Amy Morin is not only a psychotherapist and mental strength trainer but also someone who has personally experienced grief. At the young age of 23, she lost her mother, followed by the unexpected death of her 26-year-old husband. She understands firsthand the depths of despair and the roller coaster of emotions that come with grief.
Understanding the Complexity of Grief
Grief is often portrayed as a linear process with distinct stages, but the reality is much messier. There is no set timeline for grief, and it varies from person to person. The idea that the length of time spent grieving reflects the depth of love for the deceased is a common misconception. Grief comes in waves and can resurface during significant life events or triggers that remind us of our loved ones.
Dealing with Grief: Tips for Staying Mentally Strong
Avoid Wallowing in Self-Pity
One crucial aspect of staying mentally strong during grief is avoiding self-pity. While it is natural to feel sad, there is a difference between healthy sadness and wallowing in self-pity. Sadness allows us to process our emotions, but self-pity involves exaggerating how bad our lives are and underestimating our ability to cope. By reframing our mindset and focusing on building a new sense of normalcy, we can gradually heal.
Establish a Schedule and Incorporate Healthy Habits
Creating a daily routine and incorporating healthy habits can provide structure and stability during the early stages of grief. Going for a walk, eating regular meals, and ensuring adequate sleep are essential for managing emotions. While grief may disrupt our eating and sleeping patterns, being mindful of these aspects can contribute to overall well-being.
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Managing Tears in Public
Crying is a natural and healthy response to grief. However, there may be situations where it is necessary to manage our emotions in public. It is important to find healthy coping strategies that work for us. Distraction techniques, such as changing our thoughts, excusing ourselves momentarily, or engaging in a simple task, can help prevent emotional outbursts in inappropriate settings. Remember that people’s reactions to our grief are often more compassionate than we anticipate.
Moving Through Grief: Creating a New Sense of Normal
Moving through grief is about creating a new sense of normalcy that incorporates the pain of loss. While we may never fully “get over” the loss of a loved one, we can learn to live with the pain in a way that allows us to experience moments of joy and look forward to the future. It’s a continuous process of healing and learning to honor our loved ones while still finding happiness.
Understanding that grief is a unique and individual experience allows us to let go of the notion that there is a “right” way to grieve. Everyone copes differently, and what works for one person may not work for another. Experimenting with coping strategies such as journaling, seeking support groups, or engaging in therapy can help us discover what helps us best navigate the journey of grief.
Q&A:
Q: Is it normal to feel guilty for moving on from grief? A: Feeling guilty is a common occurrence when moving through grief. It is important to acknowledge and allow ourselves to experience all of our feelings. However, extreme guilt that prevents us from finding happiness or moving forward may require professional help to work through. Remember that healing does not mean forgetting or betraying our loved ones; it simply means finding a new sense of normalcy while honoring their memory.
Q: How long does grief typically last? A: There is no set timeline for grief, as it varies from person to person. Grief comes in waves and can be triggered by different life events. While the intensity of grief may change over time, it does not completely disappear. It is a lifelong process of learning to live with the pain and finding ways to cope.
Q: Is it okay to cry in public? A: Crying is a natural and healthy response to grief. While it is acceptable to cry in public, certain situations may require us to manage our emotions. Having a plan in place, such as distracting ourselves with positive thoughts or excusing ourselves momentarily, can help us navigate public settings. It is crucial to remember that people are often more compassionate than we think and will understand our tears.
Conclusion
Grief is a complex and individual experience that cannot be easily defined or categorized. It is normal to feel a wide range of emotions and to navigate the grieving process in our own unique way. By allowing ourselves to feel, seeking support, and creating a new sense of normal, we can move through grief and find joy in life again.
If you want to learn more from Amy Morin, LCSW, and her expertise in mental strength, psychotherapy, and grief, you can visit her website at AmyMorinLCSW.com.
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