Navigating the Sea of Advice Sorting the Helpful from the Harmful
Reliable Guidance, Destructive Counsel
Battling Cancer: A Rollercoaster of Advice
By Diane Miller, as told to Stephanie Watson
Discovering the Unexpected
On January 14, 2021, my life took an unexpected turn. Alongside being a devoted wife and mother, I became a survivor of the big “C” – cancer. It all started with back and foot pain, which I initially blamed on over-exercise. Little did I know that this discomfort would lead to a diagnosis of stage IV B non-small-cell lung cancer. I wandered into an oncology office, tears streaming down my face, seeking solace and answers. And guess what? Miracles do happen. The compassionate nurse who took my vital signs consoled me, assuring me that they see miracles every day. That moment of relief will forever be etched in my memory.
Navigating the Sea of Advice
Following my diagnosis, advice rained down upon me from well-meaning loved ones. Some suggestions were helpful, while others left me perplexed. And then there were those that stung. The absolute worst, possibly caused by the lingering stigma, was when someone said, “You don’t look like a smoker!” That only made me shed more tears. It’s crucial to remember that no one deserves cancer, regardless of their lifestyle choices.
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To add to my bewildered state, people bombarded me with random diet plans, claiming they could magically eradicate cancer. I was told to banish sugar, starve the cancer cells, and overdose on supplements. It felt like a whirlwind of conflicting information that left me wondering if I should eat at all! In these moments, all I yearned for was understanding and friendship, rather than an avalanche of advice.
The Power of Support
Amidst the chaos, what I needed most was support, love, and reassurance that I had the best possible care. It meant the world when someone said, “Diane, you’re strong enough. You can conquer this!” But the best advice came from an unexpected source – my sister, a nurse. Instead of handing out medical advice like prescriptions, she normalized my rollercoaster of emotions. Crying became the new normal, and she embraced every tearful episode, comforting me with treats and her comforting presence over the phone.
The real gems of advice, however, came from fellow survivors and the compassionate professionals who guided me along my cancer journey. Meeting another survivor was electrifying. Suddenly, I realized I wasn’t alone in this battle. Ravi Salgia, renowned thoracic oncologist and lung cancer researcher, instilled hope within me. He assured me, “This is not a death sentence. We have treatments. This is not your parents’ cancer.” Those words acted as a life raft in a tumultuous sea of uncertainty. With a team who believed in me and possessed the necessary tools and expertise, my fear subsided.
Finding Normalcy in Support
Counselors played a vital role too, validating my feelings and reminding me that I wasn’t losing my mind. They walked me through the emotions associated with my diagnosis, offering guidance and preparing me for what lay ahead. But it was the love and support of my friends and family that truly grounded me. They showed up, called, visited, and took me out to lunch. Amidst the chaotic storm, they restored a sense of normalcy to my life. Without their unwavering support, I question whether I would have made it through those turbulent times.
Seizing Life Again
Tests revealed that I have an EGFR mutation, fortunately treatable with targeted medication. I am forever grateful for my dedicated oncologist and care team, as they breathed life back into my weary bones. But what truly allowed me to reclaim my life was becoming an advocate for The White Ribbon Project – an organization striving to end the stigma surrounding lung cancer. Lung cancer doesn’t discriminate; it can affect anyone with lungs. Through this meaningful work, I’m able to give back, fighting against a disease that I have no control over. And in doing so, it heals me.
So, to all those navigating the tumultuous waters of cancer, remember this – support, love, and understanding are the greatest allies. Seek solace in the knowledge that you are not alone. And most importantly, never underestimate the power of a caring community. Together, we can conquer even the most formidable of challenges.
Image Source: The White Ribbon Project
